Good morning everyone! I'm Lee Brazil, author of mm romance with Breathless Press, The Story Orgy and Silver Publishing. Most of my work is contemporary, but I have at times ventured into the realms of paranormal and historical fiction. *sips coffee* Help yourself to some coffee...*snags coffee and enjoys* Don't mind if I do...and they already know who you are, Lee...I talk about you all the time *cuddles*...*raises eyebrow at my muse* yes, well...and pastry, if you don't mind sweets in the am. That is the delicious aroma of orange chocolate chip muffins drizzled with a dark chocolate glaze. *eyes muffins and smiles* and this is why I storm your house on a regular basis...always the best yummies...*licks lips and stuffs muffin in mouth...motions for you to continue*
*chuckles* Hav's not kidding. Really, I love to bake and at least twice a week I do muffins. They make a handy breakfast or snack. Anyway, did you know according to some people today is National Tell A Joke Day? Honest. I saw it HERE when I was searching for blog topics. So, what I'm going to do is tell a joke. *blinks* I can do that, right? *sips coffee*
I'll let you finish chewing and you might want to put down that coffee cup. I don't guarantee hysterical laughter when I tell a joke, but I can always hope, right? First, you should understand that I am not a naturally funny person. I don't make jokes up, and I don't have natural delivery. Sometimes my punchlines fall completely flat and people are like, what? That's it?
Anyway, this joke is Nursery Rhyme themed, to go along with my release of It's Simple, Simon this month.
Ready? I know, after all this lead in, this better be a damn funny joke, huh?
Here goes:
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good,
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad,
She got a fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good,
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad,
She got a fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.
Thank you very much. Please, leave me a joke of your own, I like to laugh. Oh, and here's a glimpse of my contemporary take on the Nursery Rhyme, It's Simple, Simon.
It's Simple, Simon
By Lee Brazil
M/M contemporary romance
Breathless Press's Naughty Nursery Rhymes
Blurb:
Simon Carter has achieved unimaginable success and he owes it all to a man from his past whose scorn set fire to his ambition.
"It's Simple, Simon. You lack ambition."
Chase Garvin's jibe had sent Simon Carter on unexpected paths and brought him unimaginable success. No longer a penniless musician, the highly paid investment banker is going home for the first time in years. He plans to rest, relax, and spend a little time rubbing his ex-lover's nose in his success. A visit to the Renaissance Fair brings this not-quite-so-simple- Simon nose to nose with his past and somehow revenge doesn't seem quite so attractive.
Chase Garvin, Denver, Colorado's very own Pie Man, is still incredibly handsome. What's more, the more mature Chase is very appreciative of Simon's talents.
When the old attraction flares between them, Simon and the Pie Man get caught up in tasting the wares, and neither counts the pennies.
Excerpt:
He sniffed the golden pies. Mmm. Chase had always been talented in the kitchen. The aroma was intoxicating. Delicious. As he ate, savoring the flaky crust and rich fillings, he contemplated the man who'd treated him to the pies. Chase was one hot baker. He'd always been sexy, but there was no way that hunk of beef could fit into his old Renaissance garb. Chase had put on muscle. His shoulders had broadened, his biceps bulged, and mmm.... The rest was hidden behind that voluminous apron, but Simon doubted that it had changed much.
Best of all, Chase still seemed to find him attractive. That was just icing on the cake. The sugar on the pie? He chuckled softly. Whatever it was, he liked it. Liked the idea that Chase might still be interested in him sexually. As he licked the sugary filling off his fingers, he contemplated abandoning his plan. After all, Chase hadn't meant to hurt him years ago, and he'd certainly seemed welcoming enough, even though to all appearances Simon hadn't changed over the years. Yeah, there really wasn't any reason to prove to Chase how successful and ambitious he really was. He should just come clean.
On the other hand, he felt like enough of an idiot for hiding his success in the first place. He bit into the next pie, feeling the juice trickle down his chin. He licked at it, chewing and swallowing, scrabbling absently for a napkin to wipe his chin. It would be horribly embarrassing to go back to that booth and offer to pay for the pies, to tell Chase why he hadn't wanted to pay in the first place.
"Here, I'll get that for you." Chase grabbed his napkin. To his surprise, Chase drooped down onto the grass next to him. Instead of dabbing his chin with the white paper napkin, the man leaned forward, his breath a warm buttery scented breeze as he hovered close for a moment before gently licking the juice off Simon's skin.
Find It's Simple, Simon at Breathless Press
Ok, here we go...
ReplyDeleteA man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex... She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles...Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "why do you love doing that?"
"Because," she replied, "I really miss mine."
Okay, while I can relate to Lee's joke, I laughed much harder at this one!
Deleterofl- love it!
DeleteTo busy laughing to beable to say anything lol
Delete